I just got done taking a shower.
For most of you reading this, I’m sure taking a shower is no big deal. It’s a daily routine that you’ve long since mastered and requires minimal effort to complete. For a fat fuck like me, it’s a different story. I won’t go into all the gory details but let’s just say that hauling 400 plus pounds of billowing human fatness into a small rectangular box is hard enough…then you get to do all this lifting and pulling and reaching to clean your business. It’s a small workout, to say the least. Now partner that up with having to see yourself in all your fat and naked glory that only further serves to depress and anger you really puts the whole experience over the top which is probably why I have only been showering once or twice a week since all this weight started piling on (cuz it’s clear I had nothing to do with putting this all on myself, the shit just snuck up on me).
And that’s also one of the many reasons why I started writing this here blog. Writing for me and I guess everyone that does it, is incredibly helpful in releasing all the negative energy that builds inside me over time. Being morbidly obese has its own set of problems to be sure, but factor in all the other day to day lifestyle bullshit that one has go through from wake to sleep in the cycle of a “normal” day and it compounds the overall problem by a factor of motherfucker.
For the record, I will be cursing in this blog. It’s how I talk so it bleeds into how I write. If that kind of language offends you then you need to beat it the fuck outta here. I’m not trying to offend anyone, but I don’t particularly care if I do. People being offended registers almost as high as a wet fart I cut last year in the middle of Walmart on the scale of shit I care about.
This is an outlet for me to decompress as nonviolently as I can. Without a way to decompress, I’m almost certain something or someone other than myself would be broken or hurting because of a someone that IS myself, and I’m really trying not to have that. Last thing the world needs is other depressed angry person out there in the real world doing depressed and angry bullshit around him and/or to other people…so I’ll vent HERE if it’s all the same to you.
So…this was the first post. Nothing special, just something to get me started and get my shit out on the internet. In time, I’m hoping as I maybe become less depressed and less angry and less fat the words and wisdom I impart here on this pixelated pundit of public purveyance might serve to inspire or educate those of you out there suffering from the same thing as me. Or maybe I’m just banging away on this keyboard to an audience of me, myself and I and no one anywhere will see these words for all of eternity and time.